Mission Memories

A friend came over tonight and some how we started talking about my mission. So naturally I rambled on about this story and that, only this time for some reasons I decided to show her all my pictures and videos. Making this short conversation about how I got kissed on the mission to a whole nights worth of story telling down memory lane. Here are some of the funny pictures that really only my family has seen.




My first winter and Christmas my mother sent me the traditional Christmas PJs only she must have been worried that I was freezing in the new england winter because she sent me these footy pajamas. I didn't think they made footy pjs for 21 year olds but I learn new things everyday.





Keeping my hair straight in New Jersey's humidity was a challenge, especially when it down right poured rain. This picture was taken one rainy PD at Target. I didn't want to get my hair wet making it curly so I improvised.
















Then there were the days that were so hot that my shoes literally melted into the tar road. That's New Jersey for you.



New Jersey is sometimes pretty ghetto, but I love it. Like this beautiful garden with it's plastic fork border. They also would take fake flowers from the store and plant them in the ground.


But overall I found New Jersey to be beautiful. I loved my mission and I treasure these memories with all my heart.

God's solution

Let me preference this with this is not a april fools joke . . .

Yesturday I wrote about the conundrum I was having about this apartment my sister wants to move into, today I'm going to write about how God took care of things for me. I went to that $899 three bedroom apartment this morning and needless to say I didn't like it. It was off State street and so even driving into the apartment complex I didn't have a good feeling about it. But we took a look and as we walked in the smell of smoke made up my mind even before I saw the small bedrooms and dirty carpet.

This made me feel a little better of course that the extra money was worth it when you consider the greater apartment we'd be getting, but this didn't solve my own money worries. When I got to work my boss wanted to see me and I started to panic. With the economy things at the lab have been up and down, you never know what could happen and I'm not exactly the top of the totem-pole. I literally was shaking with nerviousness and so I said a prayer for peace before I went in. I kept thinking that if they had to let me go that this would be my answer, I'd have to move home after all. But instead my boss let me know that starting later this month I would have a 50 cent raise.

I couldn't believe it, in fact I started to think that it was a joke, but however funny Kyle, my boss might be, he wouldn't do that. So then I started to say a new prayer, this one in gratitude. Heavenly Father had anwered my prayer. As small as an extra 50 cents a hour may be it was the key to helping me feel okay with taking the nice apartment. It's as if God was saying that it was okay to live there and here's some extra confidence to help you feel comfortable. I feel reassured that I won't lose my job and therefore feel more comfortable finacially.

So thanks for your comments yesturday, but God has answered my prayers and I feel good about where He'd like me to be.

My Conundrum

So my sister Jesi has let me know that she does not want to live in this aparment anymore and that at the end of our contract this June/July we are going to move to a new apartment. That's not the real problem, the real conundrum is that the place that she has found and fallen in love with is a little expensive. My finances as they are a little tight between my new car, insurance (health and car) and school. It's a three bedroom apartment for $1045 a month, in which she could get the master bedroom and master bathroom, our friend Stephanie from parents ward would get the garage to park her car, leaving me with my own room (same size as Steph) sharing the 2nd bathroom with Steph. I'm the only one to not get any extra or special which is fine if I pay less rent then the others. Isn't that how it should go?

Everyone I've talked to said that the one with the master bedroom should pay $50 more and I don't know what the garage would be worth, but Jesi feels that because we are friends and family they shouldn't be charged as much for the extra perks as everyone says they should. So she took $30 off my third of the potential rent making my total $319 and both of them $364 a month. That's less than I'm paying now which is nice but with the extra utilities even being spilt by three I'm worried that things are still going to be tight. I don't want to live pay check to pay check like she does. I want to put money into savings every month so that I can travel if I want (I've been craving New York pretty bad) or be able to go to a concert or buy that pair of shoes without having to worry about paying my bills.

I don't know maybe I'm just overthinking this? I mean it is really nice apartment and the rent she's offering is less than what I pay now. I don't know it just makes me a little nervious. I'm going to go see a 3 bedroom apartment tomorrow for only $899 a month, maybe if I see how bad the $900 apartments are I'll feel more comfortable living in this $1000 one. Or perhaps the $900 one will be just as good and I'll see the other one is too much. The problem really depends on that and if Jesi likes it cause I want her to be happy too, it's just that she's picky and she has the money to be because she's not in school and so she can work more.

If I decide I don't like the apartment she does I'm not sure whats going to happen. We might have to split ways and I might have to move back home cause I can't afford to live by myself. That wouldn't be too bad, I really like my family but I'm 25 and I've been out on my own for almost 7 years between living at Snow college, my mission and these two years living with my sister.

Wow that felt good to get off my chest! So what do you think? I know it will all turn out okay but I want things to be fair and I really want to be comfortable financially.

Death by Italian

I've decided that my italian class this semester may be the actual death of me this time. I have a new professoressa who is more strict about the compiti e esame (homework and tests). I don't think that I am failing but I am pretty sure that I am not getting that B range grade that I have been able to pull off these past two years. Two years of this language and I am still struggling. . . ma va va (oh come on!) I met some return missionaries at my cousin homecoming this week who just returned from their missions in Italy. It was fun to talk in Italian with them, what little I could understand and speak, but it made me think that maybe I shouldn't have prayed so hard to be an english speaking missionary cause I could really use the gift of tongues right now. Especially when I found out that I have to have a B grade for grad school. Here I am a senior and ready to take the passing C grade just to be done with it when I find out about the grad school thing . . . again I say ma va va.

But don't worry I'm not going to die without a fight. I'll give it all I've got and then some. So wish me luck or at least say a prayer for me. Perche io bisogno di lo. (Because I need it.)

Senior Thesis

I just turned in my proposal for my Senior Thesis and having never done anything like this I am nervious about how I did. Therefore I am going to use this as a sounding board. My senior seminar class this semester is emphasized on Dutch Genre Paintings in the 17th century. I am focusing my thesis on a serious of paintings from this time in which a number of artists have painted images of paintings within their own paintings. Many historians have researched and theorized about the meaning of these paintings and the reasons for these Dutch artists to include them in their works. While I agree that some of these paintings-within-paintings present some interesting theories to explaining what the overall painting's meaning may be I don't think that all of them were meant to be intrepretted. Some historians take their theories and interpretations to far. Perhaps they were just paintings on the walls of these Dutch artist's world. It's like the wall labels in a museum that explain the meaning of an artwork that you are veiwing. While some may be a good intrepretation of the piece, sometimes it's worth ignoring the museums point of view so that you can enjoy the work for your self and make your own theories. My favorite example of this is a work by Johannes Vermeer: A woman holding a balance 1662. The painting behind this woman is of the Last Judgement, this has created theories that Vermeer meant for this piece to have a religious meaning as if the woman is weighing the ideals between good and bad.

So what do you think? Does any of this make sense? Clearly I still have a lot of research to do as I work out my arguement and try to bring in the arguements of others, but I think I have a basis for a good thesis. Even if you don't know much about Art history I would appreciate your thoughts, questions, or critique. Thanks all.

Pictures worth a 1000 words

England

Roman Gate, Germany

Calai, France

Eifle Tower, France

Arch of Triump, France

Dover Castle, England


Luxenburg

Saint Chapelle, France

Holland

Brugge, Belgium

Notre Dame,

France

Louvre, France

Paris, France

Oh, how I love Paris!

And this isn't even the half of what I saw!

God's opened window for Me

Lately I have been feeling depressed about my state of life . . . what else is new . . . as I saw door after door of life opportunities being slammed shut on me. I saw others around me, naming no names, who I saw soar with their lives as God opened different doors of opportunity for them, and I started to wonder when was it my turn for happiness. Only you know that saying that when God closes a door somewhere he opens a window, well it's true! You'd think I'd have learned that from my "troubles come in three" situation but I didn't. I have been holding on to the sting and the hurt of slammed door on a life of love that my experience with Aaron caused me for so long that I didn't see the windows that this brought to my life. Instead I felt myself suffocating in a room with all closed doors as I impatiently waited for God to open my window. But now I understand. I may still not be 100% happy with my single status but at least now I can see the blessings that I may have because of it.
Before Aaron I had dreams to go to Europe, to see and experience the art that I was studying and learning about, but because of my dream to have a family I put that dream on the back burner. When the door was slammed to get married I felt like it was the end of my dreams but now that I am going to France for two weeks I understand that by slamming one door, which wasn't the right door at that time anyway, God has opened the window to a life dream of mine. I don't mean to be so metaphorical but the point is that just when I was feeling at my wits end in frustration and depression with the way I saw my life not going (no future family or career) and the lack of the things I want more than anything, God knowing my pain and loneliness gives me a blessing to help me breathe and feel of importance again. It's just a wonder that He is so patient and forgiving to His the very impatient and frustrated daughter that I am as I wait for His timing and plan in opening life's doors of opportunity for me.